Breakthrough: Why It’s Okay For Christians to Grieve Too

I hate Christian stereotypes.

Especially, the stereotype that says Christians are supposed to be “happy” all the time. I’ve seen numerous nonbelievers comment on Christian content saying, “If your God is so good, why are you grieving?”

Their confusion is understandable. After all, we claim that our Lord is righteous. Unfortunately, their understandable questions have leaked into the minds of Christians.

Or maybe, it started with us trying to hide our feelings from the outside world to convince people to convert to our religion. While I have zero idea how it started, it’s morphed into a MASSIVE PROBLEM.

This Is Why It’s Okay For Christians to Grieve Too

I started this blog to share the sunshine in life—the bright side—but the topic of grief has been on my heart lately.

No matter how the controversy about Christian grief unfolded, somewhere along the line, it became taboo in the social media world. Nonbelievers are no longer the only ones turning their heads in the opposite direction.

Christians are turning away from other Christians who are wrestling with grief. This is caused by the assumption that those who speak about their pain aren’t truly rooted in faith and joy.

If it isn’t too bold of me to say, I’m sick and tired of this trend.

Phylicia Masonheimer described this response as emotional bypassing. In one of her recent Instagram reels, she said, ”When you share something hard, they’ll immediately turn it positive. … They will talk about victory or say you’re not really trusting God enough … or [tell you to] pray more.

“…It’s true we need to pray more and that a lot of people do not pray enough. That doesn’t mean that your life will necessarily be easier, or that your suffering will necessarily end.”

Emotional bypassing is easy to do. Unfortunately, I’ve done it to someone without even realizing it at the time, so I’m not bashing the people who have fallen into this trap.

What I’m saying is that we need to be more vigilant. While it’s important to show people that we feel their pain, I believe the biggest way we can escape this trend is by thoughtfully approaching our grief.

Psalms 27:3 says, “Though a mighty army surrounds me, my heart will not be afraid. Even if I am attacked, I will remain confident.”

Typically, this verse would be used alone, but it goes much deeper. It stood out to me because the chapters before and after are laced with distress. David was acquainted with grief and spoke about it loud and clear, yet, in the end, He declared confidence in the Lord.

In Christ, we are not shielded from pain altogether.

We will walk through valleys, but our Savior walks with us. He prepares a feast for us in the presence of our enemies (Psalm 23:5-6).

We may scream out in pain, but we can fall asleep to the love of our Lord (Psalm 4). We are caught by His grace and mercy.

If you are walking through a valley right now, don’t allow the misconceptions about Christian grief to hinder you. You are allowed to feel the breaking of your heart. Just don’t forget Who is holding the pieces.

Every Great’s story is laced in pain. They all cried out. They all grieved. They all lost loved ones.

Because of Christ, they were allowed to feel their pain safely, and in it, they confidently declared God’s GOODNESS! They were not afraid to feel pain because they were acquainted with the firm foundation of Christ.

So, it’s time for us to stop believing that pain as a Christian is shameful.

Instead, let’s take hold of the truth that God draws closer to [us in our grief]. He calls [us] by name. He aches for [us]. He longs to heal [us] and help [us] and strengthen [us]. His love shines even brighter through the hard seasons. (8 Verses For the Brokenhearted)

Conclusion

We Christians should not be ashamed of our pain. We can feel it all because our Lord hears it all. That’s how we experience the fullness of joy—we experience His goodness and presence through every season of life.

Furthermore, we can embrace healing because we know that our Savior is mightier than the pain of this world, and one day, we will no longer wrestle with it (Revelation 21:3-4).

This is why the aching of a Christian’s heart is the most beautiful pain. We have peace that it won’t last forever.

This is the definition of faith, not the absence of pain. 
This is the definition of joy.

Postscript,
I love you, big sis and bro! Sleep in peace little Samuel. We’ll see you soon!