Sunshine in the Haze

I used affiliate links to share my exact Bible and prayer journal in this post. If you buy one of the products I recommend, I will receive a small commission—no extra charge to you!

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A couple months ago, I was tagged for the Bloom Tag Challenge, and while I don’t always do these, they’re super fun! This one is especially my style—deep and reflective.

Thank you, Hannah, from Faith, Fiction, & Fairytales for tagging me!

How the Chain Works:

• Copy the Bloom Tag questions into your blog
• Answer them honestly (short or long—your choice)
• Add your own “Final Bloom” reflection
• Tag 3–7 other bloggers to continue the chain (I won’t be doing this, but feel free to do it too!)
• Mention the creator (bellaspeculiartreasures.wordpress.com)
• Mention where you received it from (so it keeps spreading) Thank you again, Hannah!

The questions I’m answering in this post:

1. Seed: What do you feel God is currently planting in your life?
2. Sprout: What is God currently teaching you?
3. Bloom: Where do you feel most grounded or closest to God right now?
4. Wildflower: What is something unique about how God made you that you’re learning to accept or appreciate?
5. Wilted Leaf: What are you learning to release into God’s hands right now?
6. Final Bloom: If your current season were a flower, what would it be—and what do you think God might be shaping in you through it?

My Summertime Reflections On How God is Shaping Me

If you’d like to listen to my answers, instead of reading them (no judgement here), I’ve added an audio of me reading the rest of this post.

Hope you enjoy!

Seed: What do you feel God is currently planting in your life?

I’ve thought about this question a lot, and it’s hard to say just one thing. I feel overwhelmed with how many things God is doing in my life right now.

To keep it simple, I’m going to say He is planting a new creation. Not just the amazing child he’s growing in the secrecy of my womb, but also the creation of a mother inside of my soul.

For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.

Ephesians 3:14-19 (English Standard Version)

Sprout: What is God currently teaching you?

As God brings these new things—a motherly tenderness & a new life—into my days, I’m learning more about God’s character and His transformative power.

I don’t recognize myself anymore, and God is showing me how beauty and peace can coexist in the change.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.

2 Corinthians 5:17 (New King James Version)

Oddly enough, as the biggest time-consumer—a baby—encroaches on me, God is teaching me that I am capable of more. But only through Him.

Bloom: Where do you feel most grounded or closest to God right now?

Instead of my typical routine, I find myself pulling out my Bible (typically my NKJV journaling Bible or NIV) and prayer journal more—and at odd times during the day.

Just sitting in God’s Word and seeking His unchanging presence is usually enough to ground me (and bring me closer to Christ in the meantime).

But also, in a previous post about learning to be joyful in the slowness, I said that I wanted to heal without seeking therapy. How naive I was to think God would let me stand on business!

Through therapy, I’ve learned a little more about how my brain works and how I get stuck in thinking about my feelings rather than actually naming them, so I’ve found that a feelings wheel is quite useful in breaking an anxiety loop or embracing growth.

Wildflower: What is something unique about how God made you that you’re learning to accept or appreciate?

Literally everything. My current season of life has forced me into a place of acceptance. The way I can’t rest until I find answers. The way I communicate. The way I connect. The way I see the world.

Accepting who I am right now doesn’t mean I’m choosing not to grow; it means I’m learning to appreciate how God wired me, so I can actually start to grow in the ways I want to.

On top of learning to appreciate my inward being, watching my daughter grow through an ultrasound screen makes me appreciate how God created my body—the way He has gifted me with stretch marks and a soon-to-be mom pouch. How beautiful is it that I get to carry constant reminders of God’s Creation?

Wilted Leaf: What are you learning to release into God’s hands right now?

I think the biggest thing I’m learning to let go of is my need to control and know everything.

Between my husband changing jobs, our family growing, and navigating new ways to approach anxiety, what I have always known of my adult life is changing, which means I have to trust God to take it from here.

I thought I was trusting Him before, but I was still holding onto a sliver of me that I feared wouldn’t be safe in God’s hands. Spoiler alert: it wasn’t safe in my hands.

Final Bloom: If your current season of life was a flower, what would it be—and what do you think God might be shaping in you through it?

My life is a wildflower. It grew amongst the weeds. It may even be a weed itself (like a dandelion), but it stands strong and beautiful.

The wildflower only grows by the grace of God. He saw a bare spot of Earth and planted a flower.

That’s how I see my life. It is but a wildflower, and God is tending to it constantly. We might not even see the flower, tucked away in the far side of a field, but it’s there, waiting for sun and rain.

I constantly wait on my Father’s tending. That’s where I’m healed. That’s where my confidence begins to bud and anxiety loses its grip.

I wait for the Lord, my soul waits,

And in his word I do hope.

My soul waits for the Lord

More than those who watch for the morning—

Yes, more than those who watch for the morning.

Psalm 130:5-6 (New King James Version)

Wildflowers have always been my favorite anyways.

Summary: God is Pruning Me For Motherhood

I think, in summary, God is simply pruning me for motherhood. My life is about to change in a big way, so I must change in a big way.

Even though my nesting brain tries to rush me past the savoring, being pruned for motherhood is one of the most beautiful seasons of life I have gotten to experience.

If you want to follow that journey or be notified of my other upcoming posts (like how to deepen your relationship with God), you might like my newsletter!