Sunshine in the Haze

This poem is dedicated to the Christian who is struggling with depression.

I understand that, contrary to popular belief, depression doesn’t always mean you aren’t leaning into God enough. Sometimes depression simply means you are in a sad season.

It takes a lot of strength to hold onto God in the muck of depression, but Jesus is bigger than your mental state! Even when it doesn’t feel like it.

Allow me to say, I am proud of you for pushing onward. I am proud of you for working hard and taking care of yourself.

I am proud of you for cooking that healthy meal. Yes, even if you ate Ramen Noodles the rest of the day.

I am proud of you for taking that shower.

I am proud of you for choosing to go out in town (even if you never got out of the car) instead of laying on the couch all day.

I am proud of you for allowing yourself to smile about something. That chubby Bulldog. That bird perched in the tree. That rainbow in the sky.

I am proud of you for heartily laughing with your friend even if just for a moment.

I am proud of you for absorbing some sunlight. For rubbing the dirt in between your fingers in hopes of grounding yourself.

From the bottom of my heart, dear friend, I am proud of you.

Thank you for choosing the goodness of God even when it is hard.
Thank you for choosing to cling to God’s joy even when you aren’t happy.

Thank you for choosing life.

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Depression (a poem)

It claws at my throat.
Its waters rise.
It’s pulling me down.
My lungs are burning.
I’m breathing water.

Try to resurface,
But it won’t let go.
Oh, I gasp and groan!
The weight crushes me.
Who can save me now?

“S.O.S, my Lord.”
I’m trying to pray,
But I hit a wall.
Somebody, help me!
Somebody, save me!

So drained, I press snooze.
This ghost inside me
Haunts in my dreams too.
“God, please take this day.
Life has lost all zest.”

I’m to be joyful.
I promise, I try.
I’m alive today,
But I feel gone, dead.
I’m angry and sad.

Am I dramatic,
Or am I broken?
My tears are prayers now.
I’ll keep holding on.
The wall, it’s breaking.

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Allow your tears to pray for you today. Pray for change. Pray for more of God’s joy. Pray for more of God’s peace. Exhausted and depressed, seek Jesus.

I promise, no matter how much it feels like it, your prayers aren’t hitting a wall. God hears them all! Keep marching, Beloved Reader. Keep marching onward.

Resources:

• Biblical Affirmations for the Anxious Heart
• Finding True Peace When Your World is Falling Apart