Sunshine in the Haze

On May 20th, 2023, I graduated high school! The day didn’t go as planned (far from it), but it ended up being a beautiful day.

I could go on and on about how amazing my family and fiancé were at making the day special, but I will allow the story of my graduation to speak for itself.

My Graduation Story 🎓

If you follow me on Facebook or Instagram, you may already know that my family and I used to live in Charleston, SC. For nearly 7 years, I had the amazing opportunity to run across the sandy beaches and feel the sea lap at my calves. During that time, I joined a homeschool group.

While I no longer live at the coast, they were kind enough to still invite me to the official graduation they were hosting. At first, I did NOT want to go.

I called my fiancé and tried to explain how I was feeling. I was low-key freaking out. “It’s too much out of my comfort zone,” I panicked.

Fast forward a few days and the back of the car was crammed packed. It looked like I was leaving for college! After talking over my fears and worries with my older sister, I was excited to go the graduation. Though, that didn’t stop my stomach from knotting.

As we rode down the interstate, I wrote three poems. One of them illustrated my mixed feelings about all to come. If you follow me on Instagram, my apologies for the teasing, no-context pictures over the weekend. 😅

A few hours of screen time later, my family and I made it to our destination—a KOA cabin. We had originally planned to get a hotel room, but the prices were through the roof. That’s an inside scoop of a tourist location for you!

It was such a cute little cabin! It even had a cute name—Magnolia. ❤️ The name reminded me of when I went to the Magnolia in Waco, Texas (think Chip and Joanne Gaines). There wasn’t a bathroom in the cabin, but there were bathhouses a few steps away.

I was excited to finally be there! I was also ready for some sleep. Unfortunately, the curling gel I had put in my hair that morning was causing my hair to look greasy. If you are a girl (or a dude with beautiful long hair), you understand why this was unfortunate.

I knew I had to wash my hair for the second time that day, but I didn’t feel like using the public shower yet. Remember what I was saying about my comfort zone? Public showers are not within its codes and regulations!

My mom explained that we needed to go to the store, so I could pick out any shampoo and mousse my heart desired.

In my frustration, I deemed my hair worse than all other hair in the United States. My mom snapped me out of that fast! I am not somebody who genuinely compares myself to others often, but I was so sleepy-minded, I couldn’t think straight.

“Look, it’s absolutely beautiful!” She took a quick picture and showed me. My hair was more gorgeously wavy than it had ever been in my entire life! It hadn’t been that curly all day. Even after the picture, it quickly lost its waviness. I believe, in that very moment, God was shining a light from heaven.

As soon as I saw the picture, I felt God gently reminding me, “What you just said isn’t you speaking, Autumn. That’s not the girl I made.” Looking back, I was being pitiful. God didn’t waste time pointing it out either. I love that about Him!

The next morning, I woke up with fresh hair and heavy eyes. I ate some breakfast and sipped on some much-needed coffee as I chatted with my mom. “Did you remember to bring your cap?” She asked.

I stared at her for a moment as a flood of emotions filled me. An image flashed in my mind—a graduation cap sitting on the top shelf of my closet. “No,” I reluctantly said.

“You’re joking, right?”
“No, I’m not. I forgot it at home.” My words were tight.

“You can’t have a graduation without a cap. The hat is more important than the gown.” She frantically contacted the orchestrator of the graduation. “I’m going to see if they have another cap and tassel. Even without it, you’re walking,” My mom reassured me.

“I hate graduation,” I grumbled like a bitter old man before taking another sip of coffee. “You don’t get to hate it until after experiencing it,” My dad said with a laugh. He received a restrained chuckle in return.

Getting dressed for the day ahead, I looked at myself in the mirror and prompted my soul. “You’re counting all the bad things, but there are so many good things. Do you really want to spend this special day feeling sorry for yourself?”

I had to admit, feeling sorry for myself had a nice ring to it. Things were not going according to plan. Did you forget that your fiancé isn’t here? He couldn’t make it. My cruel brain reminded me. “It’s not worth it,” I responded. “This day may have some downs, but it’s going to be a great day! All of my family is here to celebrate with me.”

An hour later, I was standing in a small church with anticipation and a bit of fear racing through my veins. It was time to walk to the graduation song. Cameras flashed and loved ones clapped. My dad’s parents drove the miles to celebrate the big moment with me as well! Their presence meant the world to me.

After I received my diploma and stepped off the stage, my two-year-old niece started shouting my ‘aunt name‘. Her small voice filled the auditorium (and my heart) with a resounding, “GoGo? GoGo!”

The photographer snapped some photos of me with my diploma, and my mom snapped one with my grandparents. Please excuse my facial expressions in the following pictures. I was being blinded by the sun.

Afterwards, my mom, sister, and brother-in-law chatted in the parking lot while I goofed off with my little siblings. My brother kept trying to whip me with my graduation rope.

As soon as we hopped in the car, I grabbed a melty bar to snack on. My breakfast had inevitably disappeared into the abyss and my stomach was waging war upon itself.

Before long, we had arrived at our next destination—a restaurant called Saltwater Cowboys. I was grateful for the bar I had eaten in the car because we had to wait about three hours for seats to come available.

Apparently, the people who were sitting at our soon-to-be table weren’t leaving. On the upside, the restaurant had a cool outdoor hangout area where you could order appetizers and drinks.

My mom bought me a pineapple lime drink to sip on as we all chatted. I also cuddled my adorable few-weeks-old niece! My little sister turned around and snapped a couple awesome pictures with my phone. I haven’t asked for permission to share her cute face, so I’ll share my weird, baby-memorized face instead.

Eventually, someone asked if we were okay sitting outside near the bar. Our table was still taken, and we were hungry, so the answer was yes! It was so loud we couldn’t hear each other talk (it’s not often you get to shout across the table in a restaurant), but the food was good. I had some delicious sweet potato fries with pulled pork and collard greens. I regret not taking a picture.

After eating, we all dispersed. My grandparents were headed back home, my sister and her family went back to their hotel room, and my family and I went back to the cabin to rest for a bit. After a short phone call with my fiancé, it was beach time.

Our original plans were to take some graduation photos on the shoreline, but we changed our mind. We wanted to enjoy the time getting our feet wet.

Meeting back up with my sister and her family, we strolled the beach and allowed the water to lap at our calves. My little siblings didn’t have their swimsuits on, but they didn’t care. They jumped the waves and rolled around in the sand. It was exciting to watch them have so much fun. They certainly have sea salt in their veins. 😉

After the beach, we all went to Ye Old Fashion, our favorite place to get ice cream. My two-year-old niece kept climbing in my lap to eat hers. I didn’t mind the ice cream that kept dripping down my legs or her swim shorts soaking my pants. I enjoyed having her sit in my lap too much to mind.

Back at the cabin once again, in some cozy pajamas, I swung on the porch swing and chatted on the phone with my fiancé. We hadn’t talked much that day because of how busy I was.

With the night’s gentle breeze combined with my fiancé’s soothing voice, I finally felt at peace. The day was hectic, but it was a beautiful day in the long run.

I missed my fiancé’s presence, but he had sent many random messages, cheering me on and encouraging me to soak it all in. He also apologized a hundred time for not being able to make it.

The next morning, a gentle rain sprinkled the earth. It was time to pack up and leave, but not before soaking up the rain. I made sure to slow down and feel the raindrops falling on me. I even stopped for a moment to watch the ripples they caused in the campground’s pond.

As I marveled at the rain, I realized how monumental my graduation was. I don’t know where I’m going next, but God will be with me wherever I go.

When we got back home, a couple packages were waiting on me. Connor may not have been able to come to my graduation, but that didn’t stop him from sending his love. He sent me the best gifts ever: a journal from my favorite journal company, my favorite kind of highlighters, and the coolest white pens! You totally can’t tell I’m a writer, right?

My mom’s dad and stepmom also came to visit the evening we got back home. They gave me a sweet graduation card and wished me well. It makes me smile when I think about both sets of my grandparents showing their support. Shout-out to my grandparents: Thank you guys for cheering me on!

That’s a Wrap, Folks!

Thank you so much for following along with me! My graduation was more of a story than I anticipated, but it ended happily.

Even if the future scares me a bit, I’m choosing to hold onto God’s greatness. I may not know everything to come, but I do know that God has an amazing plan for me. He is going to work through me in extraordinary ways (even if they seem small from the outside). I’m excited to see where I go next!

If you want to continue to follow my journey and receive encouragement for your own journey, be sure to join my newsletter. I can’t wait to become your unofficial cheerleader!

Keep praying & hoping,
Autumn Rebecca