Sunshine in the Haze

I knew someone who had an abortion.

Not closely, but a friend of a friend who I’d see from time to time.

I sobbed on the bathroom floor for hours after finding out.

I’ve refused to talk about it.

I still don’t want to talk about it.

Because honestly? I’ve been told I’m not “angry enough” as a Christian, which I find contradicts all the spiritual correction my poor mom had to give me when I was growing up.

On top of that, abortion is a topic everyone has a strong opinion about. My viewpoint alone doesn’t change anyone’s heart, whether shared in a social media post or even in long-form content. Only God can do the changing.

That’s why I write for Christians who need a little encouragement or a deep conversation, not to try to save the lost. I might be wrong for that and God may call me further. I pray my heart is open to His call, no matter if it makes me uncomfortable.

But I think (maybe?) God has been pushing for me to speak for months and now, in light of everything on the internet, I’ve decided to trust He has a reason.

If you don’t know what recent event I’m referring to, then I hope your innocence is spared. I will not be explaining others’ choices. Instead, I want to focus my energy on how we can respond.

How to Navigate the Conversation of Abortion as a Christian

To the people that say I’m not angry enough, I am. I hate injustice, but I try my hardest not to hate lost souls. Bitterness or wrath doesn’t heal me or allow room for meaningful conversations.

When Christians angrily yell from the rooftops that abortion is murder and all who commit it are going to hell without any mention of how powerful God’s forgiveness is, we close the door to healing conversations.

One day, that woman (or that man who pushed for it) may feel the need to find grace and mercy, and we are the only ones who know the dealer of both. If we don’t approach the conversation wisely with only Jesus on our tongues, we lose the opportunity to guide someone to where they need to be.

The pro-life movement for Christians is not merely about fighting against laws or flesh and blood. We are fighting against the spiritual hosts of wickedness, which they cannot see.

For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.

Ephesians 6:12, NKJV

These life-changing conversations are typically not had on social media, but wherever God calls us to talk about it, I hope the mercy and grace God offered to us are on the forefront of our minds during our explanation of why some decisions are sinful and have consequences.

Every time a “big sin” is committed and plastered on the internet, God rebridals my tongue and heart, which doesn’t feel good might I add…

I am reminded of how many idols I have chosen. How many things I have done, in spite of my religion, to comfort and honor my lifestyle.

If I, knowing what is sinful, have committed sins, then why would I ever expect for someone—who doesn’t understand how beautiful and freeing God’s love and statutes are—to not gawk at our religion?

It doesn’t mean that something isn’t sinful and can’t be named as such; it means there is a Savior who knows exactly what someone needs to hear.

Many abortionists do grieve.
They believed in a society that says it’s okay, but now they wonder why they have a pit in their stomach if it’s “so okay”.

And this is what I saw on the face of a young woman who aborted a baby she wasn’t ready for. The grief, the questions, and the teary eyes that watch children play.

Her facial expression is painfully etched into my brain.

Ever since getting pregnant, I see it weekly.

And I just wish I knew what I know now, so I could have wrapped her in a hug and told her about the God who met me when I regretted something too.

I pray that she found His truth, mercy, and grace.

If you’ve ever been in a cold, sterile room with a doctor who said you were doing the right thing, or you know someone going through it, remember this: God answers our hard questions with honesty (what is sinful & why), mercy (not giving us what we deserve), and grace (the receiving of good things we don’t deserve).

I’m not a teacher and don’t want to be, and I certainly don’t know how to lead these conversations. These events simply bring on prayer meetings with God that always land me on Proverbs 15:1-2 and 15:28.

A soft answer turns away wrath,
But a harsh word stirs up anger.
The tongue of the wise uses knowledge rightly,
But the mouth of fools pours forth foolishness.

Proverb 15:1-2, NKJV

It’s these verses that God reminds me of when the internet becomes darker and angrier.

The heart of the righteous studies how to answer,
But the mouths of the wicked pours forth evil.

Proverb 15:28, NKJV

People will gawk until God reaches them. Until then, I pray they meet Christians who don’t use threats and bitterness, but instead are willing to meet them with truth and kindness to plant seeds in the garden God desires to make bloom.

Some women and men will never understand why we stand against abortion, but when God leads, we can bridge the gap between misunderstanding and anger, holding space for genuine questions, conversations, and grief.

Opening the Door to Meaningful Conversations

I’ve wrestled with how to navigate these topics for years and even avoided them like the plague.

On the flip side of the yellers, there is a group of Christians who are often left with the question, “Who am I to dictate what others should be allowed to do just because my religion says so?”

But I want to challenge us, young adults and up, to reflect. If our God is good and righteous, then every statute written in His Word will make a positive effect in America and in other countries. God’s statutes have never been to harm us but to save us.

I’m interested to hear your thoughts on abortion and how Christians could do better at showing Christ through the pro-life movement.

If you have the time, I’d love to have a respectful conversation, societal pressures aside—whether you agree or disagree!

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Picture by Stephen Andrews on Unsplash