Sunshine in the Haze

I said goodbye to my family in January, but we visited in March, April, September, and December.

My husband held me tight as I cried through a lot of nights. A gentle voice. Too much love for a broken gal.

Our black futon was a Valentine’s Day gift from my parents, and the gray three seater came from a friend.

Pink glow-in-the-dark flowers dance across the floor of the hallway. A guide from the bedroom to the bathroom for our groggy feet. I insisted we needed a pop of color in our brown little house.

Countless movies have played in our home. At first, on a computer. Now we have a flat screen TV.

A broken champagne glass still rests in our memory. It was a gift from my husband’s grandmother.

Tiny puppy noses fill my phone’s gallery. Two litters and one furry friend to keep for my own.

Our living room finally has carpet. I still chuckle at the photo of both couches in the kitchen. I cooked lunch kneeling on our ottoman that day.

The queen-sized bed now owns an extra comforter. A mint green that we found while walking down Walmart’s clearance aisle for the thousandths time. It never gets old.

Our first anniversary came around, and to celebrate we went to the park and stuck a candle in a jumbo Reese’s cup.

Thanksgiving and Christmas also came along. We celebrated one on our own, and the other three times.

A few days ago, I flew from my childhood home back to the home my husband sweat over. A bittersweet flutter filled my chest at the handwritten letters tucked in my personal bag.

The letters tell a story of a 12-year-old girl and 13-year-old boy. God planted a seed. A chat between strangers.

2024 was the year for that seed to sprout.

It was hard. So hard.

But I learned a lot and accomplished more than I give myself credit for. God’s blessings ran rich over my life in a mere 366 days. Gotta count the leap day.

I stumbled a lot. I kind of lost my way… Or so I thought.

Now that I genuinely look back and reflect, I realize that all the difficult things were worth it.

Saying YES (and I’m not talking about to the dress) is the hardest thing anyone could ever do, but God shows up in the details.

Grief. Doubt. Fear. 2024 had it all.

Surely, this year will have plenty of it as well.

However, I pray that I’ll stick closer to Jesus this go around… Which leads me to my word of the year.

This year, I picked the word INTIMATE.

Not only do I want to grow closer to my husband through devotional time and acts of kindness, but I also want to grow more intimate with Christ and those He puts in my path.

This is not going to be easy for my fragile, introverted heart.

I am not excited. 😅

I’m thankful that I don’t have to be excited while I’m jumping off the ledge. The joy will come… Because with God, joy is inevitable.